Do you ever have one of those days where you would just rather be in your bed? Or maybe you’ve been wearing the same comfy sweats for a few days in a row? (I’m not talking depression here, that’s a serious mental illness and you should seek help if you need it.) I’m talking about the funk.
I know we’ve all been there, so I’m sharing what it’s like for me when I get into a funk and things that help me to pull myself out of it in this episode. From getting a list of to-dos out of my head and onto paper to taking a shower to cleaning a space in my house, I’m giving you my best tips for fighting the funk, plus some great ideas that my lovely Instagram followers shared as well.
When you get into a funk, things like washing your hair and cleaning the kitchen and even getting outside can fall by the wayside. The most important thing is to start small. Take baby steps to lift yourself out of the funk. You’re not going to want to do it all at once, so give yourself some space and grace to take it easy and slowly.
If anything from this episode sparks you or you want to share any tips of your own, DM me @morethannicolej on Instagram! I love to chat with you all!
There is a difference in being bummed out or in a funk and experiencing clinical depression or anxiety. If you’re feeling more than just the ups and down of life, please seek help. This episode is not meant to diagnose or treat mental illness. See the resources below to reach out for help.
And if you’re a business owner totally overwhelmed by social media, I’m starting a new live series, Social Media Simplified, on March 29th. Get access to this series and even more incredible resources over in my group coaching program TFE. We’re all in this together, and this group is such an open and supportive place for anyone at any stage of their business. I can’t wait to see you there.
In this episode, you’ll learn…
- [01:12] How I recently got into a funk after being sick, and why being in a funk is the worst—but also very relatable
- [05:39] What happens to me when I’m in a funk, and understanding the difference between being in a funk and depression
- [09:17] How making a giant to-do list helps me to get everything out of my head and onto paper, and the importance of taking baby steps if you find it difficult to take action
- [14:18] Why I always try to remind myself to be grateful for the little things, and why cleaning just one space around me helps to clear my head
- [21:00] How listening to music helps to calm and center me, and why I like motivational videos to get me out of a funk
- [23:43] What helps some of my Instagram followers get out of their funks
My new live series, Social Media Simplified, launches March 29 inside my group coaching program, The Friendly Entrepreneur. You learn countless content creation ideas, how to reach your ideal audience, and how to keep social media. Get all the details and how to join here!
Links mentioned in this episode…
My free guide to growing your business
Join my group coaching program, The Friendly Entrepreneur!
Check out my coaching programs (I offer 1:1 business and social media consulting!)
Follow Nicole on Instagram
MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org . Text MHA to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor from Crisis Text Line. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
What is 988? https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988
Find a therapist through Betterhelp or Psychology Today.
[00:00:06] Nicole J Welcome to the More than Clothes podcast. I'm your host, Nicole J, a mama, wife and entrepreneur who makes the most out of the hours in between morning school drop off and afternoon pickup. After ten years of building a successful clothing boutique, I decided to close the doors when I realized that the fast fashion world just did not align with the slow and simple life that I had been craving. You're in the right place if you're looking for real life advice or proven steps to building your business. I'll be going behind the scenes of my life as a working mom, surviving in the chaos and choosing to start over. And details of how I built a multimillion dollar business by the time I was 30 years old. By sharing some of the mistakes I made, I'm hoping to help you avoid them. And by telling you about some of the hard lessons I've learned, I'm hoping to inspire you to finally let go of other people's expectations and start prioritizing your happiness. Thank you guys, so much for being here. Let's get to it.
[00:01:12] You know what is so annoying? Not just annoying, but also incredibly difficult. Being in a funking funk you guys. And you know what I mean when I say funk. Like, just in this low, crappy feeling where you don't want to do anything, you can't get anything done. You're being so hard on yourself. You're saying awful things inside of your head, and it's just. It's so crappy. You know what I'm talking about? Like the funk. I just call it the funk. You know, And we can't say it doesn't happen to most of us, because I know it's probably more like all of us. I think the difference is probably how long your funk lasts versus somebody else's. But I recently went on Instagram stories and shared that I had been in a funk for a few days, and this happens to me quite often. Like full transparency here, you guys, all of my days are not fluffy and fun and happy and positive. Like I definitely have funk days and moments too, and sometimes they will last up to several days and even up to a week at a time or whatever, depending on how long it takes me to get out of it. But I am better at getting out of it. And I want to talk about that today because I shared on Instagram stories that I was in a funk for a few days. It really happened after I wasn't feeling well, so I had a kidney stone and I do not wish those on my worst enemy. Unfortunately, my family has a long history of having them and I have been blessed with them as well. So I've had multiple it's awful and I don't even know how to describe it. It's just like this shooting, stabbing pain, but it's not constant like it's you out of nowhere so you can be walking and then just be like, Oh, I'm bent over in pain. It's really quite ridiculous. But yeah, so it started with that then I think I had like a stomach bug on top of it. So I just wasn't feeling good. Right? And when you're not feeling well, you're just not feeling well and you have to force yourself to rest. And I was doing that. I was resting, taking time off and really just trying to feel better in general. But then what I what happens for me personally is that when I'm not feeling well already, like towards the end, when I'm starting to feel better health wise, you know, like stomach bugs leaving or colds leaving or whatever, I go into this funk sort of phase where my depression kicks in and I am just low and really have to pull myself out of it. And that's what was happening a little bit ago. And I went on Instagram stories and shared about it. And not to my surprise at all, because I know or I say all the time that we're not alone, but so many people said that they can relate to that. I did like a little slider thing on the stories, and so many people participated in that. And then I received several messages just with different stories, like some related to illness, some not, some lasting only a few minutes, some lasting up to a few days. Like I was just having these really intimate conversations with people and messages on Instagram the other day and I was like, You know what? I'm going to record a whole podcast on this because I know if this many people came forward and said they relate, I know that there's that many more people who, you know, maybe didn't feel comfortable coming forward and sharing that they related or are maybe in a funk right now or, you know, trying to pull themselves out of it. And I just want to share sort of what works for me. And then I also asked Instagram what works for them. So I had a few people answer with some really great things, some simple, most of them simple, like we can all we're all capable of doing these things. But I've got to be cool not only to hear what I do, but hear from other people as well. So I'm going to share those today. I'm going to kind of just like list them out. I feel like that's the easiest way to do this because I'm just kind of going to I just have like a list here of things and we're just going to go down the list. And I hope that if you're going through this right now or you know, that this just is something that happens depending on the season of your life, I hope you pull something from this episode that can turn your day around or turn that funk around and get you out of that funkin funk. All right. So honestly, there's a few different things that help me get out of it, but. One of the biggest things that happens for me is I just shut down, right like I when I am overwhelmed or stressed or anxious, I just like shut down. I don't want to talk to anybody. I don't want anybody to talk to me like you'll find me in my bedroom, in my bed. My go to thing is I put my pillow over my eyes, like even if it's dark, I just I put the pillow over my eyes. I don't know if it's like the pressure of the pillow on my face or what, but, you know, or I use it to block out the sunlight in my eyes, but it just helps. So that's like my thing. Like if I'm stressed or overwhelmed or in a funk, you can find me in my bed with a pillow over my eyes and just like laying there trying to get my shit together. Right? I need to. I need to invest in an eye mask. This is so silly. But I'm like, you know, maybe that would be better than having the pillow over my eyes anyway. But it's hard to get out of that because you're laying there. Then you start to feel guilty, right? Like I'm a mom. We've got three kids here, I've got my husband, we have household to run. And I just I start to feel guilty and then I feel bad about it. And then I'm like, oh my gosh, my kids are like, I'm just sad all the time. And, you know, all these things just go through your head and then you're like, I'm not being productive. I'm not getting any work done. The house is a mess, blah, blah, blah. So on top of if you're not feeling well and then if you're already in a funk and then the guilt and all those thoughts start to come up, it's just like this place of misery. I want to do a little quick side note here. Obviously, I am not a professional when it comes to medical advice. You guys, full disclosure here. Okay. There's a difference between being in a funk and being extremely depressed. Okay. And I don't take this conversation lightly when it comes to depression and mental health. So if you are really in a dark place and just feel like you can't get yourself out of it, you need help, it is okay to find help and ask for help. All right. It really is. Therapy and medication have saved my life. And I know it's not for everybody, and that's okay. But there are people out there who will talk to you and will who will help you. So I will link some resources in the show notes. But seriously, I take this seriously. Like there is a huge difference of being in a funk and being severely depressed. And if you are somebody who feels like depression has just kicked in and you need that help, the help is out there. Okay, So I want to just disclose that for a second. I take that very seriously just from personal life and just things that we have been through. So please know that I don't mean to like dismiss the severity of being depressed. Depression and anxiety is something I've struggled with for a really long time. So I know that there's a big difference between depression kicking in in a severe way versus just kind of pulling yourself out of a funk. But today I'm talking about the funk. All right, the funk. Okay, so when I'm in that mode, I know that I'm just overwhelmed. Like something has put me to a place of complete overwhelm. Usually that's the house is just a mess. It's unorganized. And I just like, instead of actually doing things around the house, I just shut down. Or if I have a lot on my plate with work and I'm just feeling overwhelmed, like it's usually because I'm just I'm just unorganized. I just have reached a point where everything feels chaotic around me and I've just sort of like lost control, right? Does that make sense? So one of the first things I will do is I will get out a good old piece of paper and a pen, and I will make a giant list, a list of all the things that are stressing me out, all the things that I feel like I need to get done. Anything around the house, anything personal, anything to do with business or work related or, you know, whatever. Like anything, I literally will just make a big giant list. This does not solve all of my problems. No, but it gets all of the mess out of my brain and onto a piece of paper where I can actually look at it and then start to rearrange, prioritize and move things around. Now, before I make the list, I have to give myself a pep talk, right? Like I'm not just going in saying like, okay, let's journal on this and everything's going to be fine. Like, no, that doesn't work that way. I wish it did. You know, sometimes it does, but not in this case. I had to give myself a pep talk. And that typically is like as simple as taking a deep breath, sitting up in bed, putting my feet on the ground and standing up, just standing up for a minute, getting out of the bed, turning off the TV. Right. Like literally moving my body up. Get up. I have to give myself this pep talk because, you know, if you're in this funk, even doing that is insanely difficult. So not only just doing that, but being proud of yourself for making that first step, right? Usually I'll go take a shower at that point or I will get myself dressed my go to. Just like a good old red lipstick. Like for some reason, red lipstick just makes me feel like, okay, we're good. But just getting up out of bed and changing out of whatever pajamas you've been sitting in for the last few days or, you know, like whatever you've been sitting in or laying in, it's time to just get it up and you want to do what I do after this is I strip my bed completely. I will take off the sheets, I will take off the pillow covers. I will take I have a blanket that I still take my blanket and I take it all off of my bed. And that's now laundry day. It is now the day that I am washing my sheets, washing my covers, washing whatever is on that bed, because now I am not going to get back in the bed. I am up, I've stripped it all and I have this whole like visualization thing that I do. Like I am putting this stuff in the wash and I am washing this funk away. I am literally washing this. I'll make the bed later. It'll be a whole fresh smelling, good new vibes sort of situation. And then when I get in the shower I am literally rinsing all of the negativity down the drain. So as the water just kind of goes from the top of my head down to my body and into the drain, I am literally thinking of all of the negative energy that I have had just leaving my body, leaving my body going down into the drain, and it's done. Okay, this may sound silly to some. This may sound like woo woo shit. I get it. It's just what works for me. And that's what I'm sharing today, you guys. And when you are feeling this way, whatever works, it's worth a try, right? If this works for me, it may not work for you, but this is something that is just a mind mindset sort of shift for me. It's like, get up, celebrate it, be happy, strip the bed, wash away. All of this negativity that you've been carrying in these sheets and then this, you know, laying your head on this pillow. Wash it all away. Make yourself make your bed later on in the evening. You know, fresh bed feels so good at the end of a long day. Get in the shower, literally. Just think about all of the negativity washing off of you and into the drain. It's like a reset and a good ole reset. All right, if a shower, if you're not feeling a shower, it's okay. When we get out of that bed, the first thing we're doing usually isn't like, yeah, I'm good now, right? It doesn't happen. Small steps, little, little baby steps, like walking over to your dresser and getting out a fresh t shirt or walking into your closet and just putting on something. It doesn't have to be high heels and a cocktail dress, you guys. It can be sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I don't care. Just change out of what you've been into and put something fresh on. Put something new on. Okay. If you can spice it up a little bit, add some makeup, do your hair, bam! All of a sudden, you're like a new person. A new person, right? For me, it's like hair or makeup, Like I can I have no problem getting changed. And if that means just a graphic T and some leggings or whatever, I'm typically not going all out glam. I'm typically not doing my hair and my makeup. It's one or the other. So pulling my greasy bun back and putting on some lipstick mascara or doing my hair and having like a clean, fresh face for the day like it for me. It's either or, but always doing one or the other okay. That list is so important, and this is typically when I'll try to make that list. And if you're not a pen and paper person, that's okay. I've done past episodes on why journaling is so important to me and how it's really helped me in a lot of ways. But if you're not a pen and paper girl, it's all good. Take out your phone, take out the notes section, start braindumping that list there, and as you do this, start to start to find gratitude in in little things. And maybe this is another list. I am huge on going back to gratitude any time you need a reset. This is something that I have brought into my daily practice like it is a daily thing for me now, like gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. As I walk around my house, as I sit down to work, as I go to the grocery store. Like I am constantly getting into a mindset of feeling grateful, grateful for the little things and the big things. As I, you know, I'm making dinner for my family and I'm overwhelmed and stressed and they're screaming and fighting in the background. I'm like, you know, I have to center myself back to gratitude. Like, okay, they're driving me frigging nuts, but I am looking forward to a family dinner around the table with everybody or, Oh, I really don't want to go to the grocery store, but I am so grateful that we are able to provide for our family and put food in our pantry. Oh my gosh. Bedtime is chaotic and the kids are all yelling and I have to tell them to brush their teeth 10,000 times. I'm grateful that I can be home and tuck them into bed every single night, you know? So just constantly flipping any negative thought into a positive one, not only just a positive thought, but finding gratitude in those moments, little moments, big moments. If you are in a state of gratitude, it's almost well, I don't wanna say impossible, but it's closer to impossible to feel negative. All right, so try that out. Gratitude is like one thing I'm referring back to constantly. So maybe you have your list of things that you're overwhelmed about or your to do list, and then you have a gratitude list as well. And just list out everything you're grateful for. Everything I always tease and I say, contacts are always on my gratitude list because I'm like blind as a bat and my eyes are like negative eight. And if I don't have my contacts in, I can't see shit. So I always write. I'm grateful for contacts. You write down whatever you want. Okay, so I'm pausing this episode for a minute because I have something really exciting to share. If you are a business owner or entrepreneur who is just completely overwhelmed by social media, you will want to join me for my brand new Live series called Social Media Simplified. This is my exact framework to creating endless content ideas, reaching my ideal audience and keeping social media simple. I will be going live every week with new topics and trainings. We will also have a monthly Zoom call where you can ask me anything and get extra support. The Social Media Simplified Live series will take place inside of my group coaching program, The Friendly Entrepreneur. We get started on March 29th. I have shared a special discount for you guys. There is a link in the show notes and it has all of the details. Everything you'll want to know. I promise you will not be disappointed. I want to help you make social media easier and I really hope to see you inside. And here's the thing as I list these things out, I'm not doing all of this at once. I'm just giving you some examples of things that all stack together, right? Like, I'm not getting up cleaning my house, getting a shower, getting full glam on, going to the grocery store, making dinner like that's not realistic, right, guys? I'm not going to sit here and say that all these things get done to pull myself out of a funk, typically picking like one, two, three of these things and letting those work for me. So another one is cleaning one space around me. This is just a personal thing. I don't like mess. Our family doesn't thrive off of mess. It's just our house is one of those houses that look Pinterest clean all the time. It just does. You can come to our house in the morning. You can come to our house in the evening, and it's going to be clean and tidy. The way we do that is we have less stuff like I have really been in a decluttering phase and making clean up just easy. And I don't say that to be like, Oh, we're so clean and tidy and our house is perfect because it's not. But I don't have stuff everywhere. Like there's just not toys overflowing. And even when our kids were little, we were pretty like particular about where the toys were in the house because it's just my husband and I both we function better when the house is put together and when it's clean. Does the laundry pile up? Yes, it does. Like, do we have dishes in the sink? Yes, we do. Like, you know, it's not always perfect, don't get me wrong there. But more times than not, you can drop by and our house is going to be pretty tidy. Like it's just how we function. So when I'm in this funk, what happens is that the piles build up around me. The dishes become just insane. The laundry is just behind, you know, like my closet starts to pile up or the kids rooms have become a little crazy, like, whatever. But I know that I will feel better when I can start to tackle one of those spaces. Sometimes it's my office. Like I don't thrive in a messy office or having a messy desk this is just a personal, personal thing, you know? So oftentimes I go to the kitchen, and if the kitchen feels out of sorts, I will just start. I will blast some music, I'll turn that music all the way up and I will just start cleaning. I won't, you know, listen to a podcast or nothing like that. It's just music. Light a candle and get into my groove and clean up the space, wipe down the counters, put things away, sweep the floor, like just clean, clean a space around me. Maybe it's your bathroom. Maybe it's just the bathroom counter. Maybe you just haven't wiped the counter down in a while or, you know, all of your makeup is still out from the morning or the day before or five days before or whatever. It's just a matter of tidying up one little space. Just pick a space and celebrate it. When you've gotten yourself out of bed, putting yourself together a little bit, finding your gratitude, go tackle one little space that will make you feel better. Again, this is a personal thing. This is something that I just I don't thrive in messy areas. And I you know, I know that when I start to clean something or a small space or a big space around me, I'm starting to feel like I'm accomplishing something again. And usually what will happen is it's like a snowball effect, right? I start cleaning one area. I have a mood boost, I call it a mood boost. And then I'm like, okay, now I kind of want to move towards this room or I'm feeling a little bit better because I accomplish something. So cleaning one or more spaces and then soaking up that accomplishment, that accomplishment of a small task or a big task and just being proud of yourself for doing that. Right? I mentioned music. Music is a big one for me. I love like self-help books, self-help podcasts. I love learning about business and marketing strategy and listening to different podcasts about that stuff. But sometimes, like I just can't hear anybody talking to me. Like, I just get so overwhelmed that, like, I need just earplugs and just silence or, you know, like, I just it's overstimulating. And when I'm in a funk like this, so I won't turn on a podcast an audio book, none of that. Sometimes it's just silence and no music at all. But a lot of times a good old just music jam sesh is so powerful to my soul. So I'll turn up some music. I'll have a little dance party if I need to cry sesh if I need to, whatever. But music for me is always one that I go back to. Find a really soothing and just Spotify playlist that makes you feel good. Whether you create one of your own or find others. There's so many free Spotify playlists that you can save that are just any vibe you want. If you want upbeat, positive, calm, soothing, whatever you can find a solid like go to Spotify playlist. When I am okay with listening to somebody speak, I don't typically jump to a podcast. I will go to YouTube, simply type in motivational videos, and so many options come up. I have some of my favorites that I like to listen to, like Oprah, for example, and then I just kind of spiral off on to listening to motivational videos. There's some where there's like really powerful speeches compiled together. Those are really awesome. And typically, if you can make it through one of those, you're going to be feeling like a major badass, ready to like, break the door down and get shit done. Shania Twain style. So let's go, girls. All right, so those are some things that work for me. I would love to hear from you guys too. I'm going to share some responses I got from Instagram, but if you're listening to this episode, I will always want to chat with you guys. So send me a message on Instagram and let me know if this episode resonated with you. I would love for you to leave a review. Reviews are so helpful when it comes to podcasts like mine, So if it's about this episode specifically, or maybe just, you know, in general, that would mean so much to me. Screenshot Send that over to me so I can personally thank you on Instagram messages, but I always love chatting with you guys and it's always me responding. I will send you a voice memo, a quick text, whatever. It's always me. So like if you're listening to this and you're like, Oh, Nicole, I have a good tip for you. Please send it to me. Like, chat with me, you guys, I'm here. I'm your friend. I love chatting on Instagram. So I polled the people I asked on my Instagram stories, what is something that helps you get out of a funk? And here were some of the responses, which I really loved these. So Julia gave me a few ideas. One that stood out the most was a good cry. A good cry. I need to know, like, are you guys criers? Do you like, you know, the saying, crying laughing, like I'm crying laughing. It's literally me. Any time I'm laughing, even just a little bit, I just cry like I can't help it. But when it comes to like being angry or mad or pissed off, it takes a lot for me to cry. So when it comes to like my funk and meltdowns, I usually don't cry. I get like, just get cold. I like shut down, but a good cry would probably feel so good getting it out, releasing all of the tears, just releasing it all out. A good cry. She also says a shower or a bath. I really wish I had a bigger bathtub. Here's a fun visual for you guys when we first moved into this house. We have just like standard bathtub showers, right? And in our bathroom, we have a stand up shower, no tub at all. But the kids bathroom, they have a tub in there. I was like, I'm going to have a bubble bath. I'm literally laying in the bubble bath and I think I'm in as far as I can the water is as high as it'll go, and my boobs are so big that literally the top of my nipples are just sticking out of the water. Fun visual for you guys, but like. Like what the hell? This isn't relaxing. I can't sit here and just, like, stare at my boobs, whereas, like, what? And then depending on how I moved or whatever, like the top of my belly would stick out. I'm like, Oh, my God, this is not a good vibe. It was not relaxing. So anybody who has like a bath set up, I am so jealous. So jealous. Julia also says movement, especially outside. Oh, and of course, the dog helps. Julia has a cute little pup. And of course, the dog helps. Dogs are the best when it comes to just emotional support. Oh, thank you, Julia, for responding to me. And then I have Amber from Affinity Wellness. Amber says outdoor activities as well. She was similar to Julia. She said, intentional slow movement, which I really like, you know, like not necessarily breaking out full on yoga, right, But just like slow stretches. I really love that, she said. Nature. Nature is a big one for me. I love being outside, just getting a good old breath of fresh air, being around the trees. Being around water is one of my favorites. I don't necessarily have to be in the water, but like near the water is really relaxing for me. Amber also says Meditation. Meditation. I did a podcast episode a while back about meditation. I think a lot of people associate meditation with just like sitting still and thinking about absolutely nothing when it's actually the exact opposite. If you're afraid or hesitant to try meditation there's so many resources out there to get you started with just simple ways, and it really is so powerful. Danni says, Get dressed and she says, Put her makeup on and get dressed or put makeup on. And I love this one, a for me errand, which is going to target she put for me in quotation marks. A For me errand, a.k.a. Target, a little retail therapy never hurt anybody, right? Oh, my God. I love that. Sometimes that could be like a good and a bad thing, right? Because then we're like, overspending. But I mean, it's just the truth. Retail therapy just works. And then Meghan says she goes outside. I love that. All just the simplicity of being outside, whether it's freezing or warm, like it doesn't matter for me. I just getting that breath of fresh air is just instantly soothing. No matter what mood I'm in. I really have been enjoying my daily walks outside lately, whether it's cold or nice, it's just so nice to be outside. And another nice thing is to along the lines of like I was saying, you know, if you're overstimulated and don't feel like listening to an audiobook or podcast or even music, just having a silent walk and letting your mind just wander, that's a form of meditation, you guys. It is. It really, really is. So I hope this was helpful for somebody. Please let me know if it was you, if it was you who needed this. I love hearing from you guys when these episodes just hit you and help you, especially because, you know, that's why I'm here. That's why I do this, is I want to share solid advice and, you know, things that help you feel less alone. And I hope that's what this did today. So shoot me a message and let me know that review, like I said, so, so helpful. We appreciate every single one of those. And if you do leave one, send me a picture so I can personally thank you and we can chat about this episode or another episode that may have inspired you or left you feeling, you know, motivated or ready to get shit done. Have a good day, guys. I will talk to you next week. Hey, friend, real quick, I would love to stay connected through Instagram. You can follow me @morethannicolej. When you get a chance, would you mind leaving a review? These reviews are so helpful for a podcast like mine. If you leave a review, send me a screenshot on Instagram when you do so I can personally thank you. And one last thing, your friendly reminder: you get to choose what type of mood you want to be in, and today I hope you choose happy.